Signature files are pieces of text appended to a user's communication, usually e-mail or news postings. Originally, they were intended as a simplification to relieve users of typing the same thing over and over again. Of late, they have become
artistic expressions, advertisements, and electronic business cards. Not everyone likes signature files, though. Take Steve Strassmann, coauthor of The Unix-Haters Handbook (IDG Books: Indianapolis, 1994), who writes the following:
".sigs were invented because of sendmail and other cretinous unix mail 'tools' that violate all sorts of Internet standards. People had to put their real addresses at the bottom of messages, because the headers were so likely to be worthless. If
those systems actually worked as they should (and once did), nobody would ever have needed .sigs.
A UNIX signature isn't a return address; it's the ASCII equivalent of a black velvet clown painting. It's a rectangle of carets surrounding a quote from a literary giant of weeniedom like Heinlein or Dr. Who.
.sigs are the perfect source of thoughts for people on junk information diets; myopic bottom-feeders who eat whatever information McNuggets are squirted into their face by passersby. Ultimately, .sigs are for people with snack food where their brains
should be."
If that hasn't discouraged you from designing your own signature, read on.
To start, please insert tongue in cheek. Also, consider the following issues when designing:
The functional point of a signature file is to give the reader contact information. Think of what you would put on a business card, and those things should go in the signature. For example:
--==<Max>==-- General Magic, Inc. Phone: 415.XXX.XXXX 2465 Latham St. Fax: 415.XXX.XXXX Mountain View, CA 94040 Email: [email protected]
Note the double-column structure, a very popular format. These days, a lot of people are adding their World Wide Web home pages to their signatures as a "Badge of Honor." For example, Tyler Jones:
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ Tyler Jones, [email protected] KILL /--------\ <a href="http://www.willamette.edu/~tjones/">TVJ</a> YOUR < Amethyst > If you want to impress me, accomplish something. CAR \--------/
After you've mastered the informational aspects of the signature, you're ready to move on to the next level: diversionary information. Many people use humorous quotes to add some life to their messages. There are advantages and disadvantages to this
approach. While your joke may make someone laugh, will it work for 100 mail messages? Select a joke or quote that expresses a part of you. For example, [email protected], a clear Simpson's fan, has chosen:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cynthia Virtue [email protected] Network Computing Devices Tel: xxx-xxx-xxxx Mountain View, California, USA Fax: xxx-xxx-xxxx I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be --- Oooh! Donuts! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Note the use of the ~ character to frame the signature. We'll see more of that later.
Humor, information, blah, blah, blah. . .. You want your signatures to look like all those cool ones in the techie magazines. The only way to do that is to whip out the old character-based graphics. Start simple, like [email protected]:
___ / / / / / / _ __/ (_/__/ / (__ (__ ___/
Then add your knowledge from the previous lesson:
||\ /|| ||| ||\\\\ \\\\\\\ || ||\ || ** Cyber Space Cowboy ** || \/ || || || || || || || || \ || ** President, Alt.Flame ** || || ||||| ||||| || || || \ || ** The MoFo Integrator ** || || || || || \ || || || \|| Just the s**t....
or:
~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~
WinJunkie aka Brad Spry [email protected] [email protected]
~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~'`^`'~*-,._.,-*~
Dave Carhart ([email protected]) has incorporated information, humor, and simple but effective graphics. Way to go, Dave!
\|/
(@ @)
---------------------------oOO--(_)--OOo-----------------------------------
``` '''
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining, or testing your
code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dave Carhart Voice: 508-XXX-XXXX
Stillwater Consultants Inc. Internet: [email protected]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now that you've mastered the basics, time to let loose. Think of images, designs, slogans, and other formats that appeal to you. To help in your design, you can turn to the following sources.
Loads of interesting information about ASCII-art. You will be amazed at what can be done with ASCII. Heck, we can just skip this multimedia business. You can even produce those highly annoying 3-D stereograms with ASCII!!!
http://gagme.wwa.com/~boba contains numerous resources and informational documents from the ASCII-art guru, Scarecrow. You will feel very strange viewing all ASCII pages in a medium (the Web) that is famous for
multimedia.
Gifscii is a program that can convert GIF images to ASCII. While Steve Strassman would be sick if he knew you were putting screensful of characters at the end of your messages, Gifscii may come in handy for smaller images. You can find Gifscii at
ftp.wwa.com in pub/Scarecrow/Gifscii. The file you retreive will depend on the desired platform:
|
MSDOS |
Gifscii.exe |
|
UNIX (Sun) |
Gifscii.ux |
|
Macintosh |
MacGifscii.hqx |
|
Amiga |
Gifscii.lha |
|
Unix/Alpha |
ALPHAGifscii.exe |
|
VAX |
VAXGifscii.exe |
|
c-source |
Gifsciiv2.2src |
With no further ado, we get to some of the best sigs on the Internet:
.-'~~~-.
vibrate .'o oOOOo`. ......sQuiShy Designs......
your :~~~-.oOo o`.
skull `. \ ~-. oOOo.6 1 7 4 9 9 1 9 2 5
`.; / ~. OO: info-flo
.' ;-- `.o.'
this'll stop ,' ; ~~--'~ ftp: ftp.std.com /pub/cmellow
them shakes. ; ; ftp: amt.mit.edu /pub/jshiple
___\\;_\\//_______WWW: http://bazaar.com/dj/Cmellow/cmellow.html
fingerforPGPpubkey
_
_|_|_
^/ . ..\^
___[=========]___
___-==++""" . /. . . \ . """++==-___
__-+"" __\ .. . . | .. . | . . . /__ ""+-__
/\__+-"" `-----=====\_ <O> _/=====-----' ""-+__/\
_/_/ ""="" \_\_
/_/ \_\
// \\
/") ("\
\o\ Live Long and Prosper, /o/
\_) (_/
Spock
___
/ /\ Nasser Hasian 1:205/40.4
/ / /_ [email protected]
/__/ /\/\_________________________________________
_\_ \ / / ______ __ __ / __ / _ _ /\
/__/\ \ / /\____/ /\/ /\/ / /\/ / // // / /
_\__\ \_\/___ /\/ / / / / / __/ //__// / /
/__/\/ \_\__/ / / / / /_/ / /\ \/ / \__/ / /
_\ \ /\/______/ /__/ /_______/__/ \\ \_/ / /__/ /
/ /\ \ \/\______\/\__\/\_______\__\/ \\_/\\/ \__\/
/ / /__\/ \_\/
/__/ \ _ _ _ _
\__\/\ \ | o _| | | |_ / |_|_ | | |_|_
\__\/ | o |_ |_| _| / | |_| o |
_______________________________________________________________________________ ______ `:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::'__/\__<[email protected]> ( ____) __`:'__`:'____ `::::::::::::::::::::'`'.\ /.:'`:::::::::::::::::::: \____ \/ \_/ \ / __ \ :::::::::::::::::'__/\__/ \__/\__`::::::::::::::::: / ____/ _ _ Y /_/ | :::::::::::::::::`\ / ':::::::::::::::: (________/ \_/ \ | |__/ ,:::::::::::::::::'/_ _\ `:::::::::::::::: ______________| | |___ `::::::::'`:::::::`. \ / .':::::::'`:::::::: (______________| | |___) :::::'__/\__`::::'__/ \__`::::'__/\__`::::: Empath on IRC \___/ .::::::.\ / .::. \ / .::. \ / .:::: ___________________________/\__/ \__/\__/ Fnord! \__/\__/ \__/\__
Chris __^__ __^__ ( ___ )------------------------------------------------------( ___ ) | / | Christopher King NCSU Computing Center | \ | | / | 208 Hillsborough Building (919)XXX-XXXX | \ | | / | WWW URL>http://www2.ncsu.edu/unity/users/c/chking/ | \ | |___| "Calm down. It's only ones and zeros." -- Sam Kass |___| (_____)--------------E-mail:[email protected](_____)
__
/ \ Sit, Ubu, Sit.
/ ..|\ Good Dog.
(_\ |_)
/ \@' *WOOF*
/ \
_ / ` |
\\/ \ | _\
\ /_ || \\_
\____)|_) \_)
_ __
' ) ) / /
-- /--' o _. /_ __. __ __/
/ \_<_(__/ /_(_/|_/ (_(_/_
[email protected]
[email protected]
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -- -- Thomas Langberg -- Email: [email protected] -- -- ///\ -- Raytheon Company -- Phone: 508-XXX-XXXX (direct) -- -- c-oo -- 50 Applehill Dr. -- Disclaimer: My opinions are my -- -- \ ^ -- Tewksbury, MA -- own, any similarity to another -- -- \_U -- 01876-0901 -- is purely coincidental -- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? -- -- A: To get to the other ... er, um ... -- ----------------------------------------------------------------------
__ _-==-=_,-.
/--`' \_@[email protected]<
`--'\ \ <___/.
\ \\ " /
>=\\_/`<
____ /= | \_|/
_' `\ _/=== \___/
= -_ __/=====================================================================
| Shawn P. Lee (612)XXX-XXXX | Winnie The Pooh, |
| [email protected] | and |
| St. Cloud State University, MSUS | TIGGER too!! |
=============================================================================
___ (:)====/__/\=(:)(:)===========================(:)=====================(:) |\| _\_ \ \|\||=| Tai Nguyen |\| official sponsor of |=| |=| /__/\_\ \=||\| resident wise-ass |=| SoNiC ToNiC(tm) |\| |\| / /\ __/\|(:)===========================(:)=====================(:) |=|/ / /\ \ |=||=| "Nature has been made possible by a grant from |=| |\/__/ \_\/ |\||\| the Corporation for Public Broadcasting." |\| |=\__\/\ \ |=||=| - PBS |=| (:)==\__\/===(:)(:)===================================================(:)
.od8888bo. 88 .d888888 888888888 .d888888 888888ba
.d%::::88::888b. 88 d8' 88 88 d8' 88 88 `8b
.d888::::::::8:888%. 88 88aaaaa88a 88aaaa 88aaaaa88a 88aaaa8P'
88888:::::::88888::%. 88 88 88 88 88 88 88 `8b.
d888888:::88;888888::b 88, ,d88 88 88 88 88 88 88 88
888888888:888888888888 ..`Y888P'..88.....88..88........88.....88..88.....88....
Y8888888::::::888888%P ........................................................
`8888888:::::::8888:%'.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
`88888888:::888888%'.iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii http://192.107.38.20:1999/ iiii
!. `8888888::88888' .!!!!!!! "to be a rock and not to roll" - Led Zeppelin !!!!
|||.. `"Y88%8P"' ..||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Y o u r s I n C h a o s
__ __ __ ___
/\ \/\ \ /\ \ /\_ \
\ \ \ \ \ __ ___ \_\ \ __ \//\ \
\ \ \ \ \ /'__`\ /' _ `\ /'_` \ /'__`\ \ \ \
\ \ \_/ \/\ \L\.\_/\ \/\ \/\ \L\ \/\ \L\.\_ \_\ \_
\ `\___/\ \__/.\_\ \_\ \_\ \___,_\ \__/.\_\/\____\
`\/__/ \/__/\/_/\/_/\/_/\/__,_ /\/__/\/_/\/____/
[email protected] [DnA/LaW]
Kingdom Of The Blind BBS 714-842-7170 Finger Me For PGP Key
wayne's world
\\\\\\\\\\\\ /XXXXXXXXXXX\ ////////////
\\\\\\\\\\\\ ///XXXXXXXXX\\\ ////////////
\\\\\\\\\\\\ /////XXXXXXX\\\\\ ////////////
*****************************************************************************
///// \\\\\ [email protected] \\\\\ /////
///// \\\\\ ///// \\\\\ ///// \\\\\ ///// \\\\\
W A Y N E | W O R L D
\\\\\ ///// \\\\\ ///// \\\\\ ///// \\\\\ /////
\\\\\ ///// rEmiNisCEnCeiSakINdoFabStruSeNesS ///// \\\\\
*****************************************************************************
sig credit: \\\\XXXXXXX///// \\\\XXXXXXX/////
<kerofaye> \\XXXXXXXXX/// \\XXXXXXXXX///
1994 (C) XXXXXXXXXXX/ XXXXXXXXXXX/
88 88 _
88 "" oo\
88 (__)\ __
88,dPPYbo, 88 8b,dPPYbo, ,od888bo, 8b d8 ,o\ \bo, .' `.
88P' "8a 88 88P' "Y8 d8P' `Y8b `8b d8' d8P'\ `Y8b \
88 88 88 88 88 88 `8b d8' 88 \ '88 \
88 88 88 88 Y8b. .d8P `8b,d8' Y8b. \.d8" ( ) \
88 88 88 88 `Y88888P' Y88' `Y88888P' )__| :. \
d8' | | | | \ '.
d8' c__; c__; '-..'>.__
While wandering the Net for signatures, I came across the address [email protected] a ridiculous number of times. Setting out on a quest to find this 7-bit god, I asked him how he got into ASCII-art:
"People ask me, 'How did I end up moderating rec.arts.ascii, maintaining the ASCII ART FAQ, tending the Scarecrow's FTP site, keeping the Scarecrow's ASCII Art Archives, running the Scarecrow's ASCII Art WWW Link?'
The answer is, it just sort of happened. Since I liked it and collected it, and there was no big collections of it, I just formatted my edited collection, added comments, put a logo on it and offered it to the Net. I wasn't prepared for the response. I
got bombarded with requests. After that, I made a FAQ, again because there wasn't one. Then came the rec.arts.ascii, the FTP site, and the WWW site."
His work is truly incredible, and here is a small sampling.
-:-:-- :--=- =-==-= =#=###= ###### ##=#= =##-=#- ==-=-- -=- -:- -:-
::-:--: :--=-= -=-====# =#=##=#= ###### ##=##= #=#==-#= -=-==--- =-: --: :-:
:-: :-- =-= =-= -== =## ### ##= =#= =-= ==- =-- -=- -:- -::
:-::-- -:- -=-==-== =#==##= ##### ##= #===#=- -=- -=- =-= -:- ::-
::-:-- -:- --==--== ==###= ##### ##= =#=#=- ==- --= -=- --: :-:
:-- :-- -== =-= #=# =## ### #=# #=# =-= =-- -=- =-: -:- -::
::-::-- -:--=- =-= -== =#= ##= ###### ##=#=# =#= #=- ==--=--- -=--:--:-:-::
:::-:- -:-== -=- =-= =## =## ###### ##=#= ##= =#= -==--= =-=--:--:::
.eeeeee..eeeee..eeeeee..eeeeeee..eeeeee..eeeee.eeeeeee...eeeeee..eee..eee..eee
@@@@@@@:@@@@@@:@@@@@@@@:@@@@@@@@:@@@@@@:@@@@@@:@@@@@@@@:@@@@@@@@:@@@::@@@::@@@
%%%-----%%%----%%%--%%%-%%%--%%%-%%%----%%%----%%%--%%%-%%%--%%%-%%%--%%%--%%%
&&&&&&++&&&++++&&&&&&&&+&&&&&&&++&&&&&++&&&++++&&&&&&&++&&&++&&&+&&
&++&&&++&&&
*||||||*|||****||||||||*||||||***|||||**|||****||||||***|||**|||*|||**|||**|||
====!!!=!!!====!!!==!!!=!!!=!!!==!!!====!!!====!!!=!!!==!!!==!!!=!!!==!!!==!!!
:::::::#::::::#:::##:::#:::##:::#::::::#::::::#:::##:::#::::::::#:::::::::::::
......@@@.....@...@@...@...@@...@......@@.....@...@@...@@......@@@...........@
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __
/ /\ / /\ / /\ / /\ / /\ / /\ / /\ / /\ /_/\
/ / /_ / / / / / \ / / \ / / / / / / / / \ / / \ /_/\ \
/_/ / /\/_/ / /_/ /\ \/_/ /\ \/_/ /_ /_/ / /_/ /\ \/_/ /\ \/_/\ \ \
\ \ \/ \ \ \ _\ \ \/ \ \ \/ /\ \ \/\_\ \ \ _\ \ \/ /\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
\ \ /\ \ \ \/ /\ \ /\ \ \ __ \ \ / /\ \ \/ /\ \ __ \ \ \_\ \ \ \ \ \
\_\/ / /\ \ \/ /\ \ \_\/\ \ \_\/\ \ \/ /\ \ \/ /\ \ \_\/\ \ \/ /\ \ \ /
/_/ / \ \ / \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ / \ \ / \ \ \ \ \ / \ \ /
\_\/ \_\/ \_\/ \_\/ \_\/ \_\/ \_\/ \_\/ \_\/
|\ __3__ |
____|\_______________|\\_______________|_______'__|__`___|____|___|___________
____|/___3_|________@'_\|__|_____|_____|___|___|__|__|___|_|_@'___|___|____|__
___/|____-_|____________|__|_____|____@'___|__@'_@'_@'___|_|_____@'___|____|__
__|_/_\__4_|___|_______@'__|____O'_________|____________@'_|_________@'____|__
___\|/_____|___|___________|_______________|_______________|_______________|__
/ O' [email protected]
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::'' ''::' ':::::: `:::::::::::::'.::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::' :. : :. :::::: .::::::::::.:::'::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::: : :::. :::::::::::::..::::' '::: : ::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::' :': "::' '"::::::::::::: :' '' '::::::::::::
::::::::' : ' : :: .::::::::' ' .::::::
:::::::: : .:: .::. ::::' ::::::::
::::::::. .,. ::: ':::::::::::.: ' .:...:::::::::
:::::::##### ::#### #### ::##### ::##### #### ##### #### ## :## :## :
:::::## :::::## ## :## :## :## :## ## ## :## ## ## ## :## :## ::
:::::#### ::## :: ###### :##### ::#### ## ##### : ## :## :## :## :## :::
:::::::## :## ::::## :## :## ## ::## : ## ## ## : ## :## :## :## :## ::::
::##### :::#### :## :## :## :## :##### #### ## :## : #### ::######## ::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::. ' '::::::. ' ' :::::.:.:.:.:.::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::: : '::::::::. ' ,:::::::::: : :.:':::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::: ' .::::::::: . :'::::::::::::::' '::::::::::::::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::'' .:::::::::: :' :'::::::::::::' '::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::' .:::::::::::. .:::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::. .::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::.:::..:::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::'.::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
_--_ ____ .
|| || ||_ _ /:\
|| || || | (/_ /;:.\
||__. _ //;:. \
~ || /'\\< \,,._-_ /'\\ /'\\,._-_ /'\\ \\ \\ \\ ///;:.. \
|| || /-|| || || / || || || || || || || __--"////;:... \"--__
|| || (( || || ||/ || || || || || || || --__ "--_____--" __--
,-___- \\,/ \/\\ \\, \\,/ \\,/ \\, \\,/ \\//\// """--_______--"""
_mm_ _am, _am, _g_ag, _am, _am, _g_ag, _am, .g, g, g,
qK. " ,gF @._gF @ ^ NX #_gF ,@ ,gF @,^ NX #vgF @_-d8# g# g@
*b, 8Y 8Y d dY 8Ew*" 8Y dY 8Y d j# _j# _d#
, dN.jK , jK ,Z" ,jF jK , jK , jF jK ,N jN _*jN _*jN",'
*h,W" NbpP NbpY"V^dF NbpP NbpP dF NbpP V#^ V#^ *V^
>>> [email protected] <<<
_
/ )
/ /
_( (_ _ ________________________________________________
(((\ \> /_> / \
(\\\\ \_/ / | This guy here. He's a troublemaker. |
\ / | Always sticking his nose into how things |
\ _/ | like government, media, ads, PR, etc works. |
/ / \___ ___________________________________________/
/ / |/
/ / /
Remember, don't be a junk food information provider. The sigs featured here, for the most part, have clear artistic value. I think even the most avid UNIX haters could agree with that!